31:
Prayer isn’t just part of your relationship with God – it IS your relationship with God.
If I’m not prioritizing prayer, I’m not prioritizing God. If I’m not praying every single day, I’m not valuing my faith, my baptismal mission & identity, the Body of Christ, my brothers and sisters, or myself.
It’s a nonnegotiable. Prayer has to happen. Every. Single. Day. It GETS to happen! I daily get to commune with the God of the Universe, the God of Love, the God of mercy. Lucky me!
This is something that has made sense to me on the surface, but it’s taken me years to put it into practice. Just like I brush my teeth every day, eat every day, check my phone every day, I too must pray every day.
For me, my daily prayer routine shifts every six months or so. And that’s okay! Since I’m not a consecrated religious person (I’m not a nun) I’m not obligated to any specific prayers, besides the basics of Mass, Scripture, and the Sacraments. Since COVID times, my daily prayer routine looks like Liturgy of the Hours. Liturgy of the Hours (also known as Morning Prayer, Night Prayer, the Breviary, Shorter Christian Prayer, etc) includes a lot of reflecting on the Psalms (my fav book of Bible). I take my lil prayer book with me everywhere, so I never have an excuse not to pray.
What has your prayer routine looked like recently?
30:
“Come, Holy Spirit”
I always want this prayer to be on my lips: as I open the Word, when I’m falling asleep, before I have a difficult conversation, when I’m washing dishes, as I’m trying to parallel park, etc. I always want to ask the Holy Spirit to be present. Why? Because God the Holy Spirit is the divine love shared between God the Father and God the Son. Why would I NOT constantly invite Love to be with me?
Too often, I’ll ask anxiety to be with me. I’ll make a space in my mind for resentment to settle in. Bitterness. Jealousy. Lust. Anger. Comparison. Fear. Intentionally or not, when I do this, I surrender my peace.
That’s not something God wants me to give up. He doesn’t want me fretful – He wants me FREE. St. Paul writes: “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Cor3:17).
When I ask the Holy Spirit to come to me, He will come. No matter the circumstances or obstacles I’m facing, He shows up. And when He does, the Spirit offers me graces and blessings and gifts and fruits to FREE ME.
Thank you, Lord for Your Spirit. Thank you, Lord, for freedom that is only found in You. Come, Holy Spirit
29:
This is what I’ve been praying about today:
In today’s reading from the Gospel of Mark, Jesus is preaching & teaching straight fire, as per usual. But His audience is not having it. Chapter 6, verse 3: “They took offense at Him.”
Jesus offended people.
He wasn’t trying to! Jesus didn’t intentionally antagonize people. He acted with love, tenderness, & compassion. But the truth of His identity & His message still got people seriously mad, no matter how He presented it. So mad that they eventually killed Him.
I want to be like Jesus. I want to preach & teach straight fire. I want to act with love, tenderness, & compassion. But I must be prepared for the inevitability that I will offend people. My identity & message will get some people super angry, no matter how I present it.
Oh well.
If Jesus can handle it, so can I.
28:
My sophomore year of college, I celebrated Thanksgiving with my roommate in her hometown of St. Louis, Missouri. I finally got to meet Jayne’s family & friends! For five days, I talked, laughed, & listened to the stories of the people who knew & loved Jayne so well. A few days later, I returned to college with an even greater knowledge, appreciation, & love of my roommate.
I’VE SAID THIS A MILLION TIMES, AND I’LL KEEP SAYING IT: being religious is about being in a personal relationship with God. This personal relationship with God isn’t toxic, it’s not exclusive. God doesn’t want to hide me away & keep me only to Himself like an abusive or insecure friend. No, it’s the total opposite - God wants to show me off! He’s so eager to introduce me to His family & friends. Not only that, He wants His family to become my family & His friends to become my friends.
The saints are the family & friends of God. They’ve known & loved Him longer than I have! They have so much insight to impart, so many adventures to tell, so much love to share. Knowing them don’t distract me from Him. Actually, they help me focus on Him even more because they help me know Him better. And the more I know Him, the more I love Him. Jesus has a lot of friends. And all these friends want to do is help lead me closer to Jesus.
(FYI, “saints” comes from the word “sancto” which means “holy” or “holy ones.” This word is allllll over the New Testament, so if you have issues with the saints or think Catholics randomly made up this concept, feel free to reach out to me to ask me more questions! Or just take it up with the authors of the New Testament)
27:
I went on so many different retreats while in high school.
They were all different from each other, but the 1 common thing were TESTIMONIES. Always during the retreat, a volunteer would share their testimony, aka their life story. The goal of these testimonies was to make the faith relatable, to show that everyone can be Catholic, that God is present in every person’s life, etc.
This goal was not often accomplished. The testimonies I heard as a high schooler left me SHOOK. The people who shared their testimonies talked about how before they found God, they were 13 y/o drug dealers, they were training for the Olympics before a car accident left them partially paralyzed, they were soldiers whose friends died in their arms, their mother & father were actually their aunt & uncle & their real parents were undercover spies in Indonesia.
Instead of glorying God, these testimonies seemed to glorify their previous wild lifestyles. I’d listen to these stories & think “Wow, their lives were crazy before they found God! But my life is pretty standard. Guess that means I don’t have a testimony to share.” For years, I thought God wasn’t actually present in my life because it was so ordinary.
You know what I’ve since learned? God moves & works LITERALLY EVERYWHERE, even & especially in the ordinary. That’s His space! He THRIVES there. If your life seems to be pretty ordinary, that’s okay! God has still been present in your life! He’s still moving & working, slowly & in sometimes nearly indiscernible ways. You still have a testimony that NEEDS to be shared & heard.
(God also moves & works in the wild and crazy so if your life has been wild & crazy, that’s okay too!)
26:
This girl just came back from physically distanced outdoor Sacrament of Reconciliation!!!!! These are some things that I’ve been thinking about in the past 27 minutes since I’ve received the Lord’s mercy through the Sacrament.
-Mercy is SO EASY. I walked up to a priest in the parish courtyard, told Jesus my sins through the priest, the priest encouraged me to reflect on the light of Christ, I made my Act of Contrition, prayed through some prayers for penance AND THAT WAS IT. I literally laughed in the Church parking lot afterwards, b/c God’s mercy is SO ACCESSIBLE, SO EASY.
-I get so intimidated by my sins. In my head, my sins are these giant, immovable boulders that tower over me. But in reality, and especially in comparison to God’s mercy, my sins are like dust bunnies! Little flakes of sand! God can SO EASILY wipe them away. I don’t need to be intimated by them when my God is so much bigger
-I’m really glad I went through the process of the Sacrament today. At first, I didn’t want to put on shoes and get in my car and drive to Church and wait in a line and say my sins out loud (even though all of those things took like, maybe 13 minutes total). But, now I’m glad so I did. I’m a physical creature. Sometimes, I need to do physical things to get my spirit to pay attention. Like physically making my way to Church & physically taking ownership of my failings so my soul can receive grace and be made new again.
-God is so gentle. He is patient and kind and keeps no track of my wrongs. I am so happy I am His little sheep and He is my sturdy Shepherd.
25:
“Strive to enter the narrow door” (Luke 13:24).
I read from the Gospel of Luke this morning as I munched on breakfast. As Jesus travels through a town, someone calls out to Him: “Lord, will only a few people be saved?” (Luke 13:23). As usual, Jesus’ answer isn’t black and white. He replies: “Strive to enter the narrow door” (Luke 13:24).
Jesus likens the process of salvation to the process of entering through a narrow door.
Interesting.
The world tells me the opposite. Salvation, if it even exists, isn’t a narrow gate; it’s a wide-open parkway the width of the St. Louis Arch! All I have to do is occasionally be a good person, maybe don’t kill anyone, and always act with tolerance and acceptance. Salvation is easy.
“Strive to enter the narrow door; for many, I tell you, will seek to enter & will not be able” (Luke 13:24).
I’m part of that “many” who will try and fail. I know myself. I’m not able to enter through the door. I can’t, my sins and failings are just too big.
But that doesn’t mean I give up! Because Jesus instructs me to “strive.” I must try. I must cooperate with His grace. I must receive His grace, cultivate virtue, curb my vices, discipline myself, fast, offer sacrifice, build accountability, participate in His Church, listen to His voice, read His Word, pick up my cross and carry it.
I must strive. And if I do, I know my Savior will carry me through the narrow door to the banquet that waits on the other side.
24:
I’ve forgotten what the cross is.
I think the cross is a piece of jewelry my grandma wears around her neck. I think the cross is a decorative art piece I buy at Hobby Lobby to hang in my bathroom. I think the cross is a motion I quickly make so I can start eating lunch.
I’ve become desensitized.
I’ve forgotten that crucifixion upon a cross was the most sophisticated form of torture the ancient world ever invented. The cross was designed to humiliate, immolate, completely & utterly destroy its victims. The cross was not quick, not neat. The cross was a long, arduous, demoralizing trek to a bloody death. The cross led to a slow suffocation, asphyxiation on one’s own bodily fluid. It often culminated in the victim’s body being eaten by dogs, the skull crushed, the legs broken.
The cross is G R O S S.
And I don’t often like to think about it. But I must. I must remember its horror so I can appreciate its glory. For through His crucifixion on the cross, my Jesus paid the price for my sins and won for me eternal life with Him.
Happy Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross
23:
It’s both.
Christianity cares about both the unborn AND the born.
Christianity cares about both peace AND justice.
Christianity cares about both black lives AND white lives.
Christianity cares about both the individual AND the community.
It’s both. Of course it’s both!
I don’t know why some Christians don’t get it.
I don’t know why some Christians worship a God they refuse to emulate. Why some Christians discriminate, look the other way, pick and choose which teachings they follow. Why some Christians act like there’s a scarcity of compassion. Why some Christians only relinquish small amounts of kindness to one group of people with whom they connect. Why some Christians act like their God didn’t take on flesh and dwell among us (John 1:14).
Some Christians exhaust me. Infuriate me. Embarrass me.
But I’m not a Christian because of other Christians. I’m a Christian because of Christ. And the God to whom I belong cares about both. And so do I.
22:
I used to struggle with my relationship with Mary.
In college, I met a lot of good-hearted people whose devotion to Mary appeared obsessive. I sat through lectures on Mariology that seemed fanatic. I knew people who prayed three (3!?) Rosaries a day.
It all turned me off. I didn’t think Mary was bad, just, maybe not for me. My relationship with Mary needed to become my own.
And it has.
I now know Mary is Queen of Heaven and Earth, Mediatrix of all Graces, Spouse of the Spirit, the Gebirah, Mother of the Church (she’s got a lot of really cool titles). But for me, Mary is just my friend. She’s a big deal, but she doesn’t rub her greatness in my face when we hang out. When we hang out, we don’t even talk about her and her merits. We talk about her Son Jesus. How great He is. How much He loves me. All He’s done for me.
It took me a while to understand Mary. And maybe that’s the case for you. Maybe Mary has always seemed confusing or intimidating. That’s okay! That doesn’t make you a bad Catholic. Just like her Son, Mary never forces herself. She gently invites us to get to know her. And when we get to know her, we learn more about Jesus.
And that’s the whole point of Mary: Jesus.
21:
I went to Reconciliation today & I wasn’t sure what to confess.
I hadn’t sinned in my usual ways recently, which is great. Yay, growth in the spiritual life! But I still knew I needed to go to Confession. Why? Because I hadn’t received that Sacrament in a few months & the Church encourages us to go monthly (Oops). And also because 1 John1:8 tells us: “If we say we are without sin, we deceive ourselves.” So yeah, I knew I needed to go.
But, waiting a physically-distanced line in the back of a church this morning, I still didn’t know what to say. Until I remembered what a friend told me last year: “Maggie, sin is a failure to bother to love.” Oooooh shoot. When I examined my conscience through that lens, my sins suddenly became very clear.
Too often I think of sin in such a basic way. Did I kill someone? Nope. Did I participate in the occult? Def not. Did I steal a car? Ha, no. Guess I’m sinless! But sin is so much bigger than that. Most of the sin in my life comes from this failure to bother to love. It comes from indifference. Laziness. Not caring. Not being concerned about myself, my family, friends, future spouse, community, God. Love takes effort & sometimes, I just can’t be bothered. That is when I sin.
At the end of my fantastic Confession this morning, the priest said to me: “Give thanks to God!” And I do, I give thanks to my Father. Through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, God has renewed my strength to overcome indifference. He has given me the grace to correct poor habits. He has bestowed upon me the power to make the effort to love.
20:
O Jesus, thank You for loving me!
You love me not because I do good things: I have done so many bad things. You love me not for what I have accomplished - I have not accomplished enough. You love me for who I am & who I am is Your child. My actions don’t determine my identity. YOUR actions determine my identity & You acted & You chose & You claimed me as Your own. Not as a master claiming a slave, but as a best friend claiming another.
O Jesus, thank You for choosing me!
You choose me not because I am without sin: I have sinned so much. You choose me not because of my virtues: I struggle with so many vices. You choose me not because I comprehend You fully: I am so slow to understand. You choose me because Your grace is sufficient & all the qualification I will ever need.
O Jesus, thank You for forgiving me!
You forgive me not because I deserve it: I don’t. You forgive me not because I will never sin again: I will. You forgive me not because my sins don’t matter: they do. You forgive me because what matters more is Your Mercy. St. Therese speaks of how Divine Mercy, like water, rushes to the lowest place. Your mercy rushes to me, low in my sin & shame & despair. You rush to purify me, to restore me, to satisfy me, to fulfill me. And then to send me out to proclaim Your Divine Mercy to all.
Jesus, I trust in You. Jesus, I trust in You. Jesus, I trust in You.
19:
Traveling is NOT glamorous. It might be for rich people. But my kind of traveling looks like early mornings, late nights, & long days.
B/c of this, my patience often wears thin. It did recently. A few days ago I shared a row on an airplane w/ two colorful gentlemen. One played the news on his phone full volume w/o headphones, drank 3 alcoholic beverages in rapid succession, & paged the flight attendant to ask for a lobster (I’m serious). Another one cackled loudly every few minutes while watching his movie (thankfully he had headphones), widely planted his feet, & forcefully bumped into me as often as he laughed.
I was planning on spending the hours in the air working, praying, or sleeping. But I couldn’t focus on anything besides the blood pumping to my head & the disgustingly awful behavior of my fellow travelers.
At my hotel room that night, I called a friend. She listened kindly until I had talked myself out, then reminded me of a C.S. Lewis quote: “Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holist object presented to your senses.”
The weakest part of me doesn’t want this to be true. I want God to dwell in mystery & beauty & unobtainable light. I don’t want Him to be present in the annoying man next to me. But He still is. Jesus was born in a smelly manger & died on a bloody cross. He is present in all the filth of humanity. He moves & works & speaks through all situations. Even while traveling.
18:
I had a weird conversation recently.
I was sharing my struggles with someone I trusted. I fall into the same sins over & over again, & at the time I was frustrated with myself (I’m all good now b/c God’s mercy)
My friend sensed my pain. He said to me, “Maggie, the Catholic moral code exists for a reason. But you know, simply not everyone is capable of obeying. You need to discern if you personally are able to follow Church teaching”
“HUH,” I said, frowning. This didn’t seem right to me AT ALL. But I respected my friend & his wisdom, so I swallowed my questions. I thanked him for his time & then left. Our talk hasn’t sat right with me for weeks. At Mass this past Sunday, I finally realized why. When the lector proclaimed the first lines of the First Reading, I legitimately had to stifle a laugh: “If you choose, you can keep the commandments” (Sir 15:15).
God bless my friend, but wow was he misguided. He sacrificed truth for what he believed to be love. Here’s the truth & here is the love & here is the good news of the Gospel: I AM CAPABLE of following the commandments! I am! I have been baptized! God has bestowed upon me every grace & blessing. Jesus is beside me. The Holy Spirit is within me. Mary and the angels & saints walk with me.
It doesn’t matter my temptations, inclinations, desires, attractions, nor past failures: I belong to God. I can keep His laws of love, & they bring me life when I do so. All I must do is chose. And when I fail to choose rightly, His mercy is always available so I can start again.
17:
I’ve been praying through the Book of Psalms recently. Let me tell you, it has it all: drama, despair, elation, just a ton of emotion coming at you all at once (so relatable). I’ve only just started, but I’m noticing a theme. In each Psalm, the Psalmist describes the current situation, which is often pretty rough. But no matter how intense the circumstances, the Psalmist always acknowledges that God is his refuge.
I’ve been meditating on this idea of what it means to have God as my refuge. Unlike the Psalmist, a plague isn’t ravaging my homeland. Neighboring armies aren’t slaughtering my family. But in a similar way, I too am looking for security & safety. What is my refuge?
If I’m being totally honest, God might not be the first thing to whom I turn. Don’t get me wrong, He’s definitely high up there. But I often look for relief in other things before Him.
Like my phone. Ugh, that dang phone. I’m consciously limiting my screen time, which is a good start. But I still find myself immediately reaching for it when I’m sad or anxious or tempted. Because it numbs me, mellows me out, distracts me with sports highlights or videos of baby goats until I’m more stable.
My friends, with their kindness & affirmation, offer quick comfort. My accomplishments, all shiny in my memory, are enjoyable to think back on. Exercise & food & shows all offer instantaneous gratification & relaxation. And that’s great! These things are gifts from God Himself. But these things can’t hold all of me. They don’t know me the way my Jesus does.
I don’t want to look for distraction more than I look for divine presence. I don’t want to be more fixated on the gifts than on the gift-Giver. I don’t want temporary shelter when the stronghold of my Savior is waiting for me.
Like the Psalmist, I want God to be my ultimate refuge.
16:
Growing up, I really disliked women’s sessions. At Church, youth group, retreats, camps, & conferences I rarely related to the female speaker nor to the majority of her message. I wasn’t a girly-girl & had priorities other than being recognized as beautiful. While I loved who I was & rejoiced in my identity, I felt vaguely confused. I knew I was missing something. There had to be more to being a woman than the same old things I was being told over & over again.
When I was a junior in college, I decided to write my own women’s talk. A talk I needed to hear. A talk not guided by stereotypes, but guided by truth. I turned to Pope St. John Paul II.
As I studied his writings, I felt my heart swell. Here was what I was looking for! His words pulsated with the love of the Father & His truth. Truth that womanhood wasn’t about accomplishments, external affirmation, or fitting in a traditionally “feminine” mold. Womanhood was about divine design.
That women’s talk, based on the feminine genius, launched my speaking career. While I don’t exclusive give women’s sessions, I do discuss Pope St. John Paul II in nearly every one of my talks (I did so 2x this morning). Last week was his feast day & I’ve been reflecting on his influence in my life. I am so overwhelmingly grateful for his sanctity, sainthood, personality, bravery, gentleness, wisdom, & zeal. I am so thankful how He has led me to Jesus & to a deeper understanding of who I am as a woman.
Pope St. John Paul II, pray for me & for us all!
PS Check out his writings!
“Letter to Women”
https://w2.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/letters/1995/documents/hf_jp-ii_let_29061995_women.html
“Mulieris Dignitatem: On the dignity and vocation of Women”
http://w2.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/apost_letters/1988/documents/hf_jp-ii_apl_19880815_mulieris-dignitatem.html
15:
Hello! I’m going to do a popular social media thing: introduction time!
My name is Maggie. I have an interesting job, cool experiences, & strong opinions. But I don’t want to introduce myself in that way. See, my hobbies & activities make up my personality, but they aren’t my identity. I’ve spent too much of my life trying to build my identity upon things that change: sports, relationships, accomplishments, opportunities, etc.
And those are fine & great. But they don’t define me. I am defined by the One who never changes. My identity is as God’s child. Who I am is not based on my own actions, whether good or bad. Who I am is based on His actions, & He acted. He chose me to be His. Not in a slave kind of way, but in a true-love kind of way. I am His. That is who I am.
I know this is basic Christian stuff, but this is also the single greatest struggle of my life. Every time I’ve sinned its b/c I’ve forgotten my identity. I’ve rejected Jesus & who I am in Him to chase after things I thought would make me feel safe, comforted, complete.
You know the Old Testament story of Jacob & Esau? Two brothers, the oldest son (Esau) has the fullness of the inheritance bestowed upon him according to ancient tradition. Esau goes out hunting, comes back hungry. His younger bro Jacob is making lentils. Esau is so hungry, so frantic to be fed, he exchanges his literal birthright for some stew?!?!!? (Gen 25). I’ve always thought this was the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. But this is what I do, all the time! In my weakness, often I exchange all that I am for mush.
I am weak. But I’m still His daughter. God constantly pours out His super-abundant love upon me. Time & time again, He offers me mercy. He restores me, puts a ring on my finger & sandals on my feet, & invites me to rejoin the Heavenly celebration. He never tires of reminding me of my identity. And my identity is in Him.
14:
Here’s something not a lot of Christians talk about: sin feels great.
Let’s be real: it does! It can make you feel included, happy, whole, no worries & no problems. But there is a problem. The problem is that all the feelings that come from sinful behavior don’t last. It has a comically short life span. Sin will make you feel good for a bit, but then real quick you’re left numb & so much more empty than you were before.
This might be a dumb comparison, but whatever, bear with me: I have problems digesting gluten. If I eat wheat pizza, pasta, bread, etc, my face immediately breaks out into some intense acne & I need to get to a toilet immediately. This happens to me every single time, guaranteed & without fail. But I tend to forget this. And I get tired of clean eating. I’ll go out with friends to a bar & I’ll smell the food from the kitchen….or I’ll be alone in my apartment late at night & remember that Domino’s cheesy bread is only $5.99….I tell myself I’ll only have one bite of my friend’s breadstick or that I’ll delete the Domino’s app after this last delivery. And before I know it, I’m taking a swan dive into a pool of bread.
We all know bread tastes amazing, DUH. But do you know how good bread tastes when you haven’t eaten it for a few months? When you’ve been trying to avoid it & develop healthy eating habits? It is blissfully delicious.
But then what happens to me? I won’t even be three bites in when my stomach starts to churn violently & my face begins to feel tight. And it comes crashing down on me & remember something that I’ve known all along but tried to ignore: This stuff destroys me. It isn’t meant for me.
Satan’s a liar. Straight up. He never fulfills his promises. His weapons of sin have the façade of goodness, but God is goodness itself. He is fullness, & Our Savior offers fullness of life to all who chose to believe in Him & His Son. He is a Father who gives us good gifts, fruit that will last, & His graces never fade away
PS: Just to clarify – sin isn’t bad just because of how it affects us. Sin is intrinsically bad b/c it is a rejection of God & all that He is. Even if our conscience has been so numbed that we don’t feel bad after sin, that doesn’t mean sin is good.
13:
Quite frequently, a well-meaning person asks me “How on earth are you able to still be a Catholic in these difficult times?”
I understand the origin of the question & I get it: sometimes, being a Jesus-follower can be hard. There’s a lot of distractions & temptations & other things I could do with my time. Several close friends & romantic relationships have fizzled out because I was an actively practicing Christian. I’ve been yelled & laughed at, been labeled ignorant, hateful, & bigoted, & been made to feel small & stupid all because I am Christian.
But you know what also has NOT happened because I am Christian? I have not been thrown in jail, fed to lions, or as Emperor Nero used to do to Christians, dipped in tar, strung up by a hook, & lit on fire to illuminate the royal gardens at night. I often make the Sign of the Cross in restaurants, attend Bible studies in parks, & pray my Rosary on a treadmill. Just a few days ago I gave a talk in a bar & an angry mob didn’t storm the stage & assault me.
I own two of my very own Bibles. I have five Rosaries in different coat pockets, dozens of spiritual texts on my book shelves, & apps on my phone that give me directions to the closest Catholic Church. I can access religious podcasts, watch YouTube Videos, & listen to homilies preached across the world instantly from the comfort of my bed.
Is it hard to be a Christian? Sure, yeah. But now more than any other time? Absolutely not.
This person asking this question is good-hearted. But I’ve found that what they typically want to do is complain to me about the culture & environment in which we live. And I’m not about that. Jesus put me on this earth in this year for His glory. He has given me so many tools to grow deeper in relationship with Him. I am so wildly thankful to be a Catholic in 2019.
(FYI: There are many violent & deadly persecutions of Christians happening around the world right now, and I want to draw attention to the reality that martyrdom is still happening. Additionally, priests, medical professionals, & others’ jobs are being threatened because of their faith. I acknowledge that and I don’t mean to minimize their struggles at all)
12:
You know the Eucharist isn’t Catholics’ idea, right?
It’s not like a bunch of white men gathered in the Vatican & came up with this teaching b/c they didn’t have anything better to do. It’s is not a human invention. Its God’s idea.
Two thousand years ago Jesus took five loaves & two fish & multiplied it to feed thousands. The next day once everyone finished digesting, Jesus told the crowds: “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me shall never hunger” (John 6). The people were cool with this. He was continuing with His bread theme & they figured He might tell one of His parables, drawing a comparison to the Kingdom of Heaven, or maybe even make more bread.
Except that Jesus wasn’t telling a story or creating a comparison like He had before. He was urgently providing specific instructions to the people, telling them over & over again they had to eat His flesh & drink His blood, or else they had no life within them. I think most of the people became pretty uncomfortable at this point. This was the man who once seemed so cool, who publicly stood up to the Pharisees, & who only 24 hours ago they wanted to make king. But now He was acting so crazy, insisting that His flesh & blood were true food & drink, that they got up & left: “How can this man give us His flesh to eat?”
Catholics & non-Catholics alike have been asking this question ever since: “How can this bread & wine at Mass be God? How can this be?” The Eucharist certainly looks like bread & wine. It has the appearance, or accidents, of standard food & drink. I’ve asked those same question so many times before. But now I feel, stronger than any confusion, is the conviction that “How??” is the wrong question.
“How can the Eucharist be God?” I don’t know, HOW does God do anything? How did He make heaven & earth & the sun & sky & corgis & mountains & you & me? HE’S GOD! He can do & be & make anything He wants. I think the better question is “Why?”
Why would God institute the Eucharist? Why would He allow His body, blood, soul, divinity to be present in the humblest of forms? Why would He want me to consume Him every time I go to Mass?
I’ve thought about this for a while & I think the answer for “How?” is the same for “Why?” Because He’s God: He can do anything He wants & what He wants is to be close to us.
11:
When my circumstances seem not to match up with God’s promises, why do I doubt God’s promises instead of my own perception?
I spoke at 5 summer camps over the last couple months. They were amazing events & I am so grateful for them (& I’m sure I’ll write about them more soon). But I was supposed to host more. 2 week-long events & 1 large-scale conference canceled on me after contracts had been signed & definite plans set in place. Stuff like this happens for me all the time. And it’s not necessarily anyone’s fault. I’m a big believer in Divine Providence & “what happens is supposed to happen”
But this time, it was different. These canceled events were in new parts of the country for me, represented the expansion of my ministry, & would be financially fantastic. I cried on & off for several weeks. I would get flashes of frustration, shame, & rage all the time. Not at the people organizing the events, but at God. Things were going well for me professionally, but roadblocks like these kept popping up. What was God doing? Wasn’t this whole “speaking thing” His idea? Wasn’t He supposed to go before me & prepare a place for me? What the heck?!
Hahahaha. Friends. I’m so silly.
Because now, I’m on the other side of summer. And Jesus has been so gently making clear to me that He knew what He was doing. And that He still does! This summer played out perfectly. All my work events went so well! And in the time that I had off (& was originally scheduled to be working), I rested! I hung out with friends, went on adventures, & felt like a whole person. Without that time off because of canceled events, I would not have been able to work as well as I did nor been able to experience incredibly fulfilling moments outside of work.
I am not always blessed with the gift of insight. But I am blessed to belong to a God who has the foresight, has the plan, & has the love to make all things work together for my good.
10:
Anyone else have a really hard time with the Sacrament of Reconciliation?
I went last week. Even though I give talks on Reconciliation & go once a month (tbh I should go more), its typically pretty scary for me. I almost always cry. I hate saying my sins out loud. They disgust me & I’m so ashamed that I’ve done them. I get nervous the priest will do something he will never do like not give me Jesus’ forgiveness or tell someone. Confession is just generally a v stressful situation for me
But Reconciliation is also my favorite part about being Catholic.
Being Catholic, being Christian, being religious is about having a relationship with God. Sin is a rejection of that relationship. When I sin, I prioritize other things above God & our relationship. I ignore it. I take advantage of it. I chose myself & my own comfort over it.
The word “Reconciliation” comes from the Latin meaning “to bring back together again.” This is what Confession is all about! It’s not about me. It’s not about the priest. It’s not even about my sins. It’s about coming back to God & repairing our relationship. It’s about receiving His mercy & starting again
I’m so thankful that my Jesus & my faith allows me to always start again
09:
Ever visit a house of Christian roommates? I guarantee they will have a picture framed in their kitchen reading: “Come & have breakfast” (John 21:12). I’m not mad about it – its one of my favorites!
The verse comes from the end of John’s Gospel. Jesus was betrayed, denied, abandoned & then finally crucified. When the stone was rolled over his tomb, Jesus’ followers believed it was all over. But then strange things started happening. Some said they saw angels, an empty tomb, some even said they witnessed Jesus Himself.
Peter, as per usual, had no idea what was going on. He decided to do the only thing he (thought) he knew how to do. He went back to his old way of life, his life before he met Jesus: “I am going fishing” (John 21:3). After struggling to catch any fish all night (again, typical for Peter) a man appeared on the shore & offered advice. When his suggestion proved impossibly successful, the Apostles in the boat realized the man must be Jesus & went to meet Him.
Remember, Peter & Jesus didn’t part on the best of terms. Peter’s last words to Jesus were: “I’ll never deny you” & then his last words about Jesus were: “I don’t know Him.” Their reunion could have been super tense. But it wasn’t. Jesus didn’t offer Peter condemnation, judgement, nor shame. He offered him breakfast.
That’s what Jesus wants to do with me. He just wants to eat with me, talk with me, be with me. Yeah, I’ve betrayed & abandoned Him. I’ve run from Him, pretended I don’t know Him, gone back to my old ways of life. And still Jesus offers me His friendship. Through His friendship, He encourages me going forward & teaches me how to live from now on.
But first, breakfast.
08:
Throughout the 70s & 80s, 1 my favorite people (Hi Pope St. John Paul II) gave a series of talks that have been complied into a teaching now known as “Theology of the Body.” TOB is groundbreaking, beautiful, pastoral, & exactly what the Church needed then & needs now. But TOB is not just about sex. Don’t get me wrong, TOB certainly teaches a l o t about sex, but it’s a major bummer when that’s all its boiled down to.
“Theology” means “the study of God.” So, “Theology of the Body” means “The study of God through the human body.” Isn’t this wild?! This means that when you study the human body (not a skeleton hanging in a science classroom, but your own physical body) that you can learn about God! HI HELLO WHAT
God longs to communicate with us – and He is super fluent in all forms of communication. He speaks to us through Jesus, the Church, Sacraments, silence, nature, friendship, food, rest, joy, etc. If that wasn’t enough, God chooses to communicate with us also thru our bodies. God speaks to & grows close to me my body and & body too.
God is extra. He doesn’t just communicate w/ us through our bodies - He dwells w/in them. St. Paul writes to the Corinthians: “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit?” I can just see the Corinthians reading this letter & being like “No I was unaware of that fact but HOLY COW THANKS FOR ENLIGHTENING ME, PAULEY BOY, THIS IS AMAZING.”
This is why how I treat my body is so important. Because my body is not just my home, but it’s also God’s home. Not His Airbnb, but His eternal dwelling. We’re in this cohabitation thing together forever. And again, I’m definitely speaking in terms of sex and sexual behavior, but I’m also speaking about food, sleep, exercise, alcohol, drugs. How I treat my body affects my relationship with God. Loving my body & taking care of it the way that God teaches me to leads me closer to Him. And that’s crazy. Ha, Catholicism is so dang radical.
07:
I spent yesterday answering the questions of 5th – 7th graders. Some were surface level (“Do you like Doritos?” to which I answered “duh”) but a lot others went deeper. My favorites of the day include “Does God really give us free will if He plans our life?” & “What are some ways that I can offer my heart to God?”
God loves questions because He is a good teacher. Good teachers welcome questions. They recognize that questions come from truly thinking & pondering & desiring to understand.
I’ve had good teachers who are patient & gentle & explain things multiple times & in multiple ways. I’ve also had bad teachers who laugh at my confusion and tell me “just figure it out on your own.” Guess which kind of teacher is God? The good kind. Jesus told His disciples to ask, seek, & knock. He promises if one does so, doors will be opened. He keeps that promise to all of us today.
So many of my friends were raised to have “blind faith.” They were taught that doubt meant mistrust & questions meant pride. They were told: “Don’t ask questions. Just believe!” You know where so many of those friends are now? Not in Church. Because, just like the blind beggar outside of Jerico, they wanted to see & the crowds told them to be silent (Luke 18: 35 – 41).
God wants you to see. His first words are: “Let there be light!” (Genesis 1:3). Jesus tells His disciples to “come & see” (John 1:39). He opens the eyes of the blind b/c He is the light of the world. God desires to reveal Himself. He longs to be known. Sure, we will never fully comprehend 100% of God. The author of the Letter to the Hebrews writes: “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). Faith always require a deep level trust & confidence & reliance not on our own senses but on His grace. But God wants us to see and to understand a lot more than we think He does.
“Let not your hearts be troubled” – John 14:1. Don’t be afraid to ask God some big questions today. Just don’t be afraid to look for the answers.
06:
God wants you to have so many things: eternal life, His mercy, devotion to His Word and His Church, etc.
God also wants you to have a personality: interests, hobbies, activities you’re involved in, things you do for fun. He wants you to maybe listen to a podcast about an obscure piece of American history or read a book of poetry or take a pottery class or learn how to rock climb.
Why? He wants you to be a complete person. He wants you to have that John 10:10 abundant life. When we give our lives to Christ, He gives our lives back to us. When we surrender to Jesus our past, present, future, eternity, He returns it to us whole. “I have not come to abolish, but to fulfill” (Matt 5:17). God wants to fulfill every part of you!
Christianity isn’t your personality – it’s a relationship. We’ve all had that friend (or even been that friend) who starts dating someone and loses themselves right away. They start dressing, talking, acting, becoming different. They sacrifice their personality for the sake of this relationship.
“Maggie, wait a minute! I heard that I’m supposed to ‘lose myself’ in a relationship with Jesus, I’m supposed to let God consume me.” Sure homie, but when Moses encountered the burning bush, he noticed that the bush was “on fire but not consumed” (Exodus 3:2). God wants to set you on fire with His love, but He doesn’t want to consume you or destroy you or stop you from being you. (IN CASE ANYONE MISUNDERSTANDS ME: if your personality is defined by sin, God isn’t cool with your sinful lifestyle. He wants to consume that right up).
God wants to be included into every part of your life. He wants you to let Him be with you when you’re listening to that podcast or reading that book or trying that new activity. He is 100% present in His Church, His Sacraments His Word. But He’s also present in the world He created, sanctified, and redeemed.
“Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I hide from Your presence?” – Psalm 139:7
(If I peaked your interest and you would like to a podcast about an obscure piece of American history or explore some poetry, I 10/10 recommend @thememorypalacepodcast or any piece of work by Mary Oliver)
05:
I finished up the last of my 2018 speaking events by speaking to some students in Houston in the middle of December. The day leading up to the event was hectic and full of miscommunication and confusion. In the midst of the chaos minutes before the event was to begin, I found myself asking God: "Why am I even doing this?”
I pushed through my frustration and gave a short talk to Kindergarteners through fourth graders, ate a quick lunch, then gave two more talks now to middle school students.
As the students filed out of the gym at the conclusion of the event, one young student hung back and remained in her seat in the third row. I approached her, my hands full of my notes and my Bible and my water bottle. I was exhausted after a full day of speaking, but I mustered up the last of my energy and fixed a large smile on my face. “Hi!” I said. I asked her name and she gave it to me, and then I asked: “Did you enjoy the retreat?” She looked up at me with wide eyes. I suddenly realized that they were brimming with tears.
“Oh my gosh, friend, are you okay?” I wasn’t sure what was going on. Was she hurt? Had someone hurt her? Did I need to call the principle?
“Yeah, I’m great!” she said, smiling wide. “I just realized that God loves me a lot. Thank you!” And before I could respond, this young sixth grade girl skipped away out of the gym to rejoin her friends waiting for her at the door.
2018 has been a wild year. I have collected many frequent flyer miles, various brief illnesses, and more stories than I can share here. Events have been canceled last minute and hopelessly unorganized and sometimes I’ve had to wait months to receive payment. While traveling, I’ve missed my family and my friends and my kitchen and my bed. Praise be to God that I am working my dream job, but I’m going to be honest with you: it doesn’t always feel like I’m living the dream.
Then moments like this happen. I encounter tender young souls and old hardened souls who pull me aside after an event and open up to me, a complete stranger. Holding my hand or giving me a hug, they share how my words have opened their eyes to the reality of God, His Church, His mercy, and His unending love. And in a rush of grace, God reminds me again and again and again why He is calling me to do this.
I am so humbled. I am so grateful. I am so in awe of the Father’s plans.
Thank you for journeying with me and supporting me from afar, Facebook friends! I can’t wait to see what 2019 holds.
“Take heart; rise, He is calling you” – Mark 10:49
04:
Have you ever asked yourself “Where is God?”
I know I have. I’ve often reflected on my life and wondered if God can actually be present in my broken past and my unknown future. I’ve looked at the state of the world and asked if God has abandoned us to our woundedness and pain.
Before Jesus ascended to the Father, He told His Apostles: “Behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). How could He possibly fulfill that promise? The human person, Jesus of Nazareth, isn’t physically on earth at this time - there isn’t a man walking around Israel wearing leather sandals and multiplying loaves and fishes anymore. Jesus was killed and buried, and then He rose again from the dead. The Christian knows that less than two months after coming back to life, He ascended into heaven and left earth.
How then can He still be with us?
Christ is truly present in our world through His Church. On the rock of St. Peter, Jesus established a Church over two thousand years ago. His Church is so powerful that not even the powers of hell could destroy it nor remove His presence from it. The Church is not a religious building, nor individual Christians dispersed around the world. Scripture reveals that the Church is the united body of Christ. If Jesus’ Body is present, He is present.
When we gather as a Church in His name, Jesus is present. When a priest consecrates bread and wine to become the Holy Eucharist, Jesus is present. When we receive forgiveness of sins through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, Jesus is present. When we provide shelter and food and clothing to those in need, Jesus is present. He is present in concrete and bodily reality, not in some sort of feel-good fuzzy sentimentality.
Jesus hasn’t abandoned us. His Church endures. God’s covenant of love remains unbroken.
03:
When I was in high school, I thought that a conversion was when a Muslim woman became Catholic, or a when an atheist found his way to the Church. I believed that a conversion was the experience of being knocked off a horse like St. Paul, an instance of blinding realization, or a moment when God spoke to you from Heaven through a megaphone.
What I didn’t realize is that a conversion isn’t a single moment for a select group of people; it’s an ongoing process to which God calls all of His children. A true conversion demands a lasting relationship between you and God, one that affects not just your distant memory, but your daily actions.
Maybe you’ve had a conversion recently.
Maybe you went on your youth group’s latest retreat, conference, or summer camp and experienced a profound encounter with the Lord. You might not be able to pinpoint exactly when it happened, but you know that God changed your heart and you want to respond to that call — but how?
The Gospel of Luke records the story of a man enslaved by a violent demon. Jesus performs an exorcism. After the man is freed, he begs that the Lord might take him along on His traveling ministry. With compassion, Jesus tells the man: “Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for you” (Luke 8:39).
Though it’s good to serve in new places, your conversion is not first proved by caring for a malnourished toddler in an African orphanage, nor by serving a homeless mother a bowl of soup downtown. Your conversion is first demonstrated by returning home from the event and sharing God’s love with your family.
That’s hard to do.
Sometimes it’s easier to tell a room full of strangers about your love for God than it is to tell your parents or siblings. Talking about the deep stuff – to people who know you well – is awkward. Because your family remembers all the weird stages you went through, you might be afraid they’ll think your conversion is another one of those phases like your obsession with Harry Potter or white chocolate Reece’s cups. Maybe you’re worried they’ll ridicule you, ask you complicated questions, or even worse, dismiss your legitimate experience and tell you that you’re naïve.
Before Jesus suffered His Passion, death, and Resurrection, He comforted His anxious apostles: “In the world, you will have trouble; but take courage, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). He speaks those same words of encouragement to us. The power of God is with you! The same God who touched your heart on your retreat is with you to give you the words in your mouth and the compassion in your heart to evangelize to your family. His Holy Spirit empowers you to be truthful, but tactful; open, but not overwhelming; honest, but humble.
Call upon the God of love to assist you before every interaction with your family. Prayer cannot be reserved for Sundays, retreats, or the fifteen seconds before we devour our lunch. Prayer must become our daily habit, for it is our means to sanctity, to victory, and to strengthen our ongoing conversion. Whether you are in the car, the kitchen, or the shower, take a few seconds and offer a prayer: Holy Spirit, speak through me. I know you are real and I know You have worked in my heart. Help me to share Your goodness with my family, not just through what I say, but also by how I act. Help me not to be aggressive nor judgmental, neither timid nor insincere. Help me to be an authentic image of You. Amen.
Your family may treat you a variety of ways after you return from a retreat, conference, or camp. They may become annoyingly interested and pester you for more details about the event. They may act the same and not realize how changed you feel. They may antagonize you and encourage you to brush off your experience.
Regardless of how they respond, what matters is that you love them anyway. What matters is that you are brave, and humble, and missionary to the person right in front of you. What matters is that you let your experience of God have a true effect on your everyday life. What matters is that you demonstrate real faith and real conversion, not just through profound encounters with strangers, but in simple moments with your family.
“If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” – St. Teresa of Calcutta.
02:
The day before Halloween, I went to a graveyard.
Spooky, right?
Actually, I went with a Religious Education group of 6th grade boys and girls in the middle of the afternoon, so it wasn’t exactly the most bone-chilling of outings.
After listening to a catechesis on Purgatory and the importance of praying for the dead, the kids scattered to explore the cemetery with chaperones jogging after them to keep up.
I wasn’t officially part of the group – I was only in town for the weekend to visit family. So I didn’t have to monitor the kids, chase down any rascals, nor patrol the entrance to prevent any of them from sneaking away to the Dunkin Donuts across the street.
Instead, I got to shuffle through the leaves and scan the tombstones for unusual names and the oldest birthdays. The front section held graves so weather-stained that I couldn’t make anything out, but the graves toward the back were much newer and clearer. Where the older graves included just last names and a year of death, many of these newer ones also had quotes engraved upon the stone.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for you are with me.”
“Let not your hearts be troubled; believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?”
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”
I will never know Norma Rhodes or Martina Jimenez or Henry Cobb, or any of those buried in that cemetery. I don’t know a thing about them – their sense of humor or what they did for fun or their favorite dessert – but I but I know everything about them.
They aligned themselves with Christ in life and in death. And they’re in Heaven, rooting for me right now.
This is what makes Catholicism so amazing.
Catholicism is not an ethical code that involves yourself and your own actions. It’s not even a religion that’s just about you and Jesus. Catholicism is bigger than that.
Catholicism is about community. The Church is a community because the God we serve is a community: the Trinity. The communion of the Church on earth flows from the communion of the Trinity.
That means that if you are part of the Church, you’re part of the universal community and the universal family. That means you have angels and saints and people throughout the centuries and from all across the globe praying for you, on earth and in Heaven.
This is what it means not to go through life alone. This is what is means to be part of the Church. This is what it means to be Catholic.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2
01:
For the summer of 2013, I had mac n cheese and pulled pork every Monday night. It was glorious.
One Monday after dinner, I walked by a group of teenage girls just outside the dining hall. As I approached, they leapt up and began chanting: “SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH!”
Since summer camp is an environment for odd occurrences, I was prepared to rise magnificently to the challenge. I placed my Nalgene water bottle on the ground, climbed on top of a nearby stump, and declared: “Today is my one hundred and eleventh birthday! Alas, eleventy-one years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable Hobbits. I don’t know have of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”
The girls stared blankly at me. Their chaperone burst into applause.
If you are as confused as that pack of teenagers, no worries. You just aren’t as obsessed with Lord of the Rings as I am.
Thankfully, my whole family is on the same page as me. One Christmas, my dad designed t-shirts with a quote from the dwarf Gimili on the back and gave to everyone as gifts. When my sister and I go hiking, we use our hiking poles to reenact the wizard duel between Gandalf and Saruman. While waiting in line at amusement parks, my mom reads aloud from the Return of the King (book #3) so animatedly that the people around us ask which ride we’re going to next so they can keep listening.
J. R. R. Tolkien published his trilogy of books over 50 years ago. Obviously Lord of the Rings isn’t the most modern of phenomenons, but that doesn’t mean they’re not still relevant.
I watched the movies again last week with my cousins when they were in town. There’s this one scene where a small Hobbit named Merry tries to convince the Ents (giant walking and talking trees. Weird, I know, but just try to keep up) to join him and his friends in their quest to destroy evil. Treebeard, the leader of the Ents, tells Merry essentially, “nah, thanks though bro.” Outraged, Merry asks him, “But you’re a part of this world, aren’t you?!”
I’ve seen this scene over a dozen times over the years. Yet it stuck with me this time, and for the last week, I can’t stop thinking about Merry’s response.
Am I a part of this world?
I am made for Heaven and that is where my true home lies. But what about the meantime? Am I living like I am a part of this world? Do I live in it regretfully or fearfully, refusing to actively participate in it? Do I see the good in it? Do I seek beauty and find truth in it?
Jesus was a part of this world.
How freaking insane that He came down from Heaven and willingly embraced the human experience by becoming one of us. Jesus did wild and dramatic things no one had ever done before, like walking on water and rising from the dead and defeating Satan. But he also did super normal common things. He drank wine. He hung out in town. He made friends with weirdos and talked with sketchy people.
He lived in this world and redeemed it by His sacrifice and His participation in it. I want to follow His example. I don’t want to be afraid of entering the world that Jesus already won for Himself.
Because there are scary things in this world. I’m frightened by our presidential candidates, rape culture on college campuses, and the fact that gun violence and terrorist attacks are becoming standard headlines. I’m not denying the reality of darkness. There’s just Someone who is much more powerful.
At the conclusion of The Two Towers film (the second installment), Sam encourages Frodo by declaring, “There’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for!” We need to listen up to good old Sam and fight for what is good in this world.
This is the situation: God alone is Creator, and Genesis tells us that everything He makes is good. All Satan can do is corrupt the good things God has made.
Our bodies and our sexuality, music, social media, fashion, politics, and popular culture can be twisted and brought low. But they aren’t objectively bad. They don’t belong to the devil.
I want to reclaim all things for Christ, particularly the pockets of creation that are especially at risk.
I want to step up as His daughter and start taking ownership of what belongs to me. Because Jesus is King, and He tells us that “all that is mine is yours” (Luke 15:31).
I have nothing in this world to fear because it belongs to my God, my Church, and me.
“Take courage, I have conquered the world” – John 16:33
